If Only She Would Die

I wish I could will it to happen. That I could reach out and touch her soul, cause her heart to stop, her brain to malfunction, her life to expire. I know that's insane. I know I can't knowingly kill another person. That would be pure evil. And yet I wish for death to find her. 

I'll tell you why.

I should have acquired enough wealth by now to retire. Enough to have put my kid through college. Enough to live comfortably. But none of that is true. I live paycheck to paycheck. I have debt that prevents me from ever retiring.

So instead, I dream. I fantasize about her death. And that after her passing, she leaves enough of her wealth so that I can pay off all our debt. The house, the loans and credit cards, the car, all of that, so we're debt free.

I think about this every day. I sit and wonder, ponder, thinking about what I could do if I just had enough to get us out of debt.